"First you want the thing, then you get the thing.
You spend the dollar."
-- Orlando, holding a toy he bought with his allowance
You spend the dollar."
-- Orlando, holding a toy he bought with his allowance
We've entered the world of kids and allowance. We entered it totally by the seat of our pants. We went to the toy store earlier this week to get a chess set and Orlando spent most of the time dragging me around the store, showing me every castle, knight, and dragon he laid his eyes on.
I listened politely for about one second before I told him, "We're not going to buy that today."
Then he changed his tune and went on and on about how he was telling me about these things for later. He -- and Mica, because Mica wanted these toys, too -- he and Mica wanted them for later. Not now, Mama.
Yesterday we were heading back at the toy store to return something we bought on the first trip. We never go to the toy store and now I know why. Before we even got in the car, Orlando was intoning about the castles, the dragons, the knights.
I cut him off at the pass. "Rom," I said, "Doesn't Orlando get an allowance now that he's five?"
Rom gave me a blank look, and then, "Uh. Yeah."
"How much does he get? A dollar a week?"
"Uh. Yeah."
"So," I turned to Orlando, "Your birthday was six weeks ago, here's six dollars."
Orlando pocketed the money quickly.
I gave him the spiel -- you can spend it, save it, give it -- but you and I both know he already had that money spent.
When we got to the toy store, he went straight to the knights, hemmed and hawed, picked one out and took it to the front. That little sucker cost $5.50 and with tax came to six dollars EXACTLY.
Poof! You spend the dollar.
+ + +
Rom and I pretty much already knew that we wouldn't tie chores to allowance... We think of chores as something you do because you're part of the family and we think of allowance as something you get because you're part of the family. I would like to get some easy way for Orlando to manage his money. I've heard of MoonJars and might create something like that for him.
Also, I was surprised to find in my brief research while writing this post that $1 a week is considered low for kids Orlando's age. I saw $3 a week and $5 a week.
Do you give your kids allowances? How much do you give? Do you tie the allowance to chores or other activities?
We haven't started the allowance thing yet. To me $1 sounds reasonable for a 5 year old.
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic! We haven't brought out the allowance yet, although it's looming. I'll be interested to hear how yours goes!
ReplyDeleteWe give our kids a quarter per chore that is above and beyond their regular chores. My 6yo is the "bring the compost to the bin" guy and makes $1.75/wk on that alone! I don't give a regular allowance "just because" but I'd love to think more on it, and hear more about it. $1/wk sounds reasonable to me.
ReplyDeleteOk, huge, huge issue in this family with the oldest. Tied to lots of internal and external struggles.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest was one who just could not stop talking about "stuff" and asking for "stuff." Literally, we take a stroll around town and by the time we were done she had pined for and asked for at least ten different items.
To stop the nagging, I gave her an allowance. It worked. For a while. But then the constant pining for "money day" started. "When is it my money day?" And when she did get the money, we had to go immediately to buy something and if she didn't find something immediately she would be in a bad mood.
The whole thing was a nightmare for my dh and me because we try to be so immaterialistic. I know we didn't always treat Iris very nicely aout it, either (ie. teasing her for being so materialistic). I tried the "playful parenting" approach often (oh yes, wouldn't it be cool if you could hae 6,000 of those???) but what I was really trying to do was get her to stop asking, so it didn't "work."
So we gave up the money day and for a while had a Kinder egg day. :-))) Now, I just try to make sure she gets a new toy or book now and again.
And, of course, she grew out of the neediness.
Wow.
ReplyDeleteI never received an allowance growing up -- but I completely agree with your assessment on how chores and allowance should not be tied together in any way. However, I was paid to babysit my little siblings twice a month on Friday nights starting when I was 13 or so. I got maybe $10 or $20 for the evening, and was expected to save almost all of it. My mom bought me a book called something like "The smart kids guide to savvy saving and spending" which came with a book-shaped piggy bank that instructed you to split up your money into percentages and to put those percentages in each of 5 categories. I think 10% was for spending on fun things.
My sister and brother are 10 and 8 years younger than me, and they started getting something like $5 or $10 per week when they were 12 or 13, I think. They could use this money to buy lunches at school, or pack their lunches and save it up to buy clothes or videogames or whatever.
I strongly believe that an allowance should be low enough that a kid can't really buy anything with a single week's allowance, since one of the main purposes (in my opinion) is to learn how to save and budget.
So. That's a lot, and I don't even have any kids. But that's my two cents (or rather, six dollars!)
:)
Our philosophy is very similar to yours :o) The children at one point received $5/week and would really "prefer" that to $1/week, but I meet in the middle at $2-3, currently. If the family income is consistent it makes sense to me the allowance would be as well.
ReplyDeleteHowever, we do talk about how we share money as a family in -many- ways... roof over our head, food, gas, the list goes on. Not to make it heavy, just to be real and give the full picture of what our money buys! I love the moon jars, too.
I suppose like all things sticking with it makes the difference. We instituted chores and allowance at an older point (age 7 or so) but I found that after a time I just didn't have the discipline to keep it going. It's easier for me to feed the pets than nag 200 times a day! But I do think that we have to somehow take "value" and "responsibility" out of the conceptual realm for our children.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is good at saving up for a particular item so I can take pleasure in saying, "She bought it herself." That gets me off the hook. After she makes a desired acquisition she loses interest in money for its own sake.
Just last week at the start of school we wrote a list of daily chores together. Doing it together, having her write it and post it, I see that she is now at age 9 motivated internally, by the pride of accomplishment, even though her contingent allowance, 4 quarters a week, is half of what it was earlier. She's collecting quarters now, you see, and the quarters suddenly have more "value" than the dollars.
Now matter how you slice it we have lucky kids.
Thanks for the comments, all!
ReplyDeleteHelena-- I agree about the amount being small enough so he can experiencing "saving" up.
Karen-- I get the quarters thing! A few days later I wished we had done 50 cents so that he would better be able to understand what comprises a dollar. But that will come, too.
My 12 year old gets $5 a week, but $2 goes into the bank immediately (she never sees it) and $3 she gets after she has recorded all her income and expenses and shows me her balance!
ReplyDeleteWe tried allowances and it just never worked for us. Now they're a little older, they can earn their own money by mowing our elderly neighbors yards. That's their spending money, we require them to put a portion into a savings account.
ReplyDeleteAs far as chores, that's not tied to any money. They have their basic jobs, clean room, pick up things, etc. then I give them "extra duty" jobs, like laundry and dish washing.
I must say, now that they earn their own spending money, they are much smarter shoppers,lol.
OK - I hate to admit this, but I am far too disorganized to institute allowance! And I don't think I'd do it that way anyway. I love how Pam G's family handles it - a snapshot here:
ReplyDeletehttp://tinyurl.com/3t3laz
That's pretty much the way we do it, with less planning ahead. LOL (I'm working on it, working on it...)
It was hard for me to let go of my views on "stuff" and materialism and waste, but I have. Well, let go might not be the right word. I have my values, and the boys have theirs. I had forgotten how much *fun* stuff can be! LOL Since the boys know we'll work to get whatever they want, try to find ways to do that, they are very thoughtful about what they do want. Well - most of the time.
No allowances for mine yet (oldest is 6) and probably not until they are much older, if ever. I think working for spending money is a better teacher than an allowance just because. I also believe chores are for the whole family though - we all get to live here after all!
ReplyDeletewhen lucy turned 5, we started a dollar a week (also not tied to chores) and now that she has started kindergarten (not just part of the family, but a part of the community) we upped it to two dollars- one for her (short term saving, spend as she wants), 50 cents for long term saving (piggy bank) and 50 cents for giving (to the charity of her choice). its working so far! she is saving up for a computer right now! (a toy one, but it is 50 bucks! i said that we'd split it with her, so she is working on 25. she's got 15 so far!)
ReplyDeleteWe don't have allowance, but we do give money to the kids...like if I find a dollar in the laundry, or a pile of change or something like that, I usually give it to them. It used to just go into the piggy bank, which eventually goes to the big bank. A couple of years ago (maybe when she was 5?) my older daughter started a "spend jar," just a mason jar that sits with her piggy bank, and she divides the money between the two. We just started a spend jar for her little sister, too.
ReplyDeleteI find that she enjoys the feeling of money in her spend jar, and contemplating buying something with it, as well as the pleasure of taking her money and buying it herself.
Plus, lots of great math lessons with money--much more fun if you're counting your own!
I don't have much clarity about allowance at this point--our current system seems to be working--but we'd be unlikely to tie it to household chores. As the non-money-earner in our family, I'd hate to think that my allowance would be cut if I didn't keep up with the dishes!
My 6 and 9 year old each get $5 every two weeks. They usually blow it on processed junk food ('cause homemade cookies and desert bread aren't good enough, yk?) but my 6yo has recently decided she wants to save her money for a Care Bear. The money is not conditional, but they can earn extra for things I don't want to do (like cutting the grass or snipping it with edging scissors).
ReplyDeleteI think a dollar a week is quite fair.
My son's still young enough for money to be a choking hazard : ) but the approach my husband and I both like is making allowance a small (like maybe 1%) percentage of household income. So, if a parent gets a raise, so will the children. If a parent loses a job, the children will get less allowance.
ReplyDelete