Children, Lies, and Broken Glass

One of our main windows has a crack in it.

A pretty big crack.

Rom noticed it the other evening as we were sitting on the couch. He said, "Oh no! Look at the window!"

Orlando jumped up, doubled over, and moan-screeched, "I DIDN'T DO IT! I DIDN'T DO IT! I DIDN'T DO IT! We need to seal it. We need to seal it!"

The terror and pain in his voice was incredible. I could tell Rom wanted to start to tell him how serious this was and how dangerous, too (which it is), but I had the opposite reaction. I went totally soft and focused.

The only thing I could think of was: I must encourage Orlando to always tell us the truth.

I said, "Oh, you really wish the window weren't broken! You really want it to be fixed!"

And he said, "I didn't want to tell you! I was so worried! I didn't want to tell you." He was almost crying, both from the stress and the relief, it seemed.

I said, "I'm so glad you're telling us now! It's okay, Boo. You can always tell us what happens."

Orlando was still standing a foot or so from us, pacing. "We need to seal it! Papa! Papa! Let's seal it!"

"It's okay, Orlando. We don't need to seal it right now. It will be okay for a little while," I reached toward him.

"I was so worried!"

I echoed him, "You were so worried! You must have been scared." Finally, he was sitting in my lap. "How did it happen?"

He told us what happened. As far as I could tell, he was trying to put his metal car on the upper window ledge, when it fell, bounced off the windowsill, and hit and cracked the window.

"And after that I came upstairs. But I was too scared to tell you!"

I remember when he came upstairs. He wanted me to lie down with him and take a nap. Which seemed really odd, considering it was almost dinnertime and he doesn't often nap anymore. I sat with him for a bit and then we went down to eat.

I said, "But I am so glad you're telling us now. You can always tell Mama and Papa what happens. We won't get mad," Rom and I exchange looks, "We promise."

And now, a week or so later, he tells us, "I broke the window. I wish it didn't happen! But it already happened. We will get it fixed."

We all wish it didn't happen.

But it did.

What are some of the lies your children have told you?

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Here are a few links about kids lying...

• A comprehensive (but short) overview of why kids lie and how to cope with it. From Positive Discipline.

• A goody but a shorty, from my favorite source. "Why Kids Lie," from Enjoy Parenting.

• Another Q&A, this one urging parents to be self-reflective when dealing their kids' lies. From The Natural Child Project.

And Po Bronson's New York article:

Learning to Lie
and
5-Minute Interview with NPR