I wrote this short piece for the annual newsletter of my meditation community and thought I would share it here. Just another example of learning to feel my feelings...
I sit down on the couch and pick up my iPhone. My two boys are at my feet, making a meandering animal menagerie across the living room floor. I slide my finger across the liquid-feeling screen, hover over the email icon... but then click the picture of the mindfulness bell. I select “1 Minute” and close my eyes.
Mica screeches – he wants the big crocodile NOT the baby crocodile! I hear Orlando, my just-turned-seven-year-old, retort sharply. I feel the rise in my body, the reflexive fish-mouth gulp in, the gathering of energy in my body. I could be up and off the couch in an instant, standing up, squatting down, insisting they stop.
I breathe in. I feel my belly expanding. I tell myself, “I can do it. I can not react for this one minute. For just this one.”
I breathe in and out. There is no more screeching. They have moved on, and I am staying still. Still for the first time in a long time. We’ve spent the last six weeks purging, packing, selling, donating, organizing, and finally moving into our new house. Our lives are topsy-turvy, and I find myself wobbly from the ride, impatient and irritable.
And however I find myself, my kids mirror it back to me…
I sit still and take it in. Just these few moments of settling bring me the sadness of our somewhat fractured (for now) relationships, the knowing that we can and will repair them, and the surprise of being here, now, in our new, wonderful home.
For just this one minute, on this one day, I take it in. I listen to the children and let the imbalance become my ballast.
photo by komehachi888
mmm, this is a lesson i keep relearning daily. what is a minute, really? just 60 seconds. 20 deep breaths, maybe. but sometimes, that minute can mean the whole day. thanks for this -- today.
ReplyDelete@sarah -- thank you... I just read YOUR latest post, and the synchronicity, oh my. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYes, a minute can be a gift... I first learned about the one-minute idea from the book One Moment Meditation. I wrote about the book briefly here.
A single minute can seem so long when having to wait it out. Waiting in silence calmed the crew. What a wonderful little lesson here.
ReplyDeleteI love this b/c when you mentioned your iphone I thought it was going to be about how technology pulls us away from the present moment and *instead* it was about how you used modern technology as a tool for mindfulness. Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI'm taking time too.. see my latest post...http://dreamingaloudnet.blogspot.com/2011/02/love-letter.html
ReplyDeleteI agree with Hilary, I thought I could see where this was leading and you wrong footed me.
Thank you for a moment's breathing space. Again!
So real and raw and truthful. I understand this. My body reacts quickly too ... if I am feeling unbalanced, unhappy, hungry. So lovely that you have this small practice. I try doing this, though not with my phone, just in general ... breathing, breathing, breathing through it all.
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
@woman laughing -- I also try to remember to breathe and do all sorts of things in the moment to help. The one-minute iPhone meditation came about last year, when I was reading the One Moment Meditation book. He recommends starting out timing yourself for one minute. I was using my iPhone to time myself, and then I started doing one-minute meditations every time I picked up my iPhone to check email or FB or my google reader. It was a nice way to settle in and not just mindlessly start screen time. I do the one-minutes often by just counting my breath, but I still like the ability to pick up my iPhone and connect to mySelf before connecting out there. :)
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